Wednesday, July 15, 2015

See Dese CDs

Hi2u. It's me, Your Favourite Author. If I was a root vegetable, I'd be a commentatoe because I'm about to make some comments.

Did you know that I'm one of Those People that still purchases CDs? This will be a succint and well-structured thinkpiece about why, and The State of Music Consumption. It will include scathing criticism on Spotify and Apple Music, with carefully selected quotes from Lily Allen and Taylor Swift to both elucidate and enunciate my points.

JK LOL. (Just Kidding, Laugh Out Loud).

But yeah, I do still buy CDs. In fact, after recently binging at my Local Used Records Shop I came home to realise I accidentally now have two copies of Usher's "Confessions."

sorry raymond

"Tell 'em Snoop, Tell 'em like it is!" - Robyn

So I'll write what I always write about!: Thing I've been listening to and enjoying. This will be more useful to you, Deer Eater, than just another lump of text about why someone will only listen to FLAC or Original Pressed vinyl because they Have Respect For Artists are white and wealthy want to look like they give a shit.

Even the cover art is ambiguous- what is Miguel really saying?
Wildheart by Miguel. This guy is basically Prince. "Nobody can be Prince," said a pal after I told him so. I was like, w/e, it's an oversexed black guy singing in falsetto, they're a dime a dozen. This album is really good though, don't get me wrong. Of all the Prince Imposters out there, Miguel is possibly the bestest. There are songs on the album about sex, Los Angeles sex, flesh, and "Hollywood dreams." One of the songs was originally released as a single called "Coffee (Fucking)," which is incredible. For some reason, the (Fucking) got dropped off on the actual album, so it's now a bit more subtle that the song is about fucking. There is genuine ambiguity- is the song about coffee or sex? Especially in the outro, where he gently sings "Fucking in the morning." Classy! Buy it for your parents, they love coffee.

Wildheart by Miguel gets 8 Subtle Lukes out of 10.

Why Make Sense? by Hot Chip. I am including this not just because I really enjoy it, but also as a reminder that I am still a dweeby white guy. I bought this album, and I yeah I really love it, but g.d. if I can think of anything positive to write about it. I even just looked up some other reviews of it just now to help me find things to say, but they were all pretentious bullshit where the authors reflected on middle-age. I'm 19, so that isn't relevant to me or my life, okay?

What I DO want to comment on re: this album, is a song that pops up exactly halfway through. It's nice and slow and soulful, where Alexis Taylor sings about sweetness and romance for about 30 seconds. And then the chorus comes in: "You gave me white WINE and FRIED CHICKEN." Don't get me wrong, if a date involved KFC chips and a nice Sav Blanc I'd be like, "this is grouse," but I wouldn't rush home and write a smooth number about it. Or anything. I don't write music.

Why Make Sense? by Hot Chip gets 7 Non-Ruined Moods of 10.

Impersonator by Majical Cloudz. Bleak af. Makes me feel like shit, one of the songs opens with "Someone died," delicate, grey human misery put to audio. Ten Rothko Paintings Out of Ten.

They were too sad to even make it look nice

I was going to write something about the jamie xx album, because I Love It, but I am going to resist. I think I have been hypnotised by the video for Gosh. It is My Everything, and sometimes I light a candle in a shrine and watch it on repeat. If you haven't watched the video for Gosh, get about it ya dingus.

UNTIL NEXT YEAR TIME, miss u peace out. Buy CDs, they are still the least cool way of listening!

No comments:

Post a Comment