Saturday, February 28, 2015

Colours of The Wind

As Grandmother Willow once said, "Listen with your heart, and you will understand." I'd like to think that what the "shady" (get it?) old lady/tree-spirit meant was, "turn it up really loud so that you can feel the bass reverberate in your chest cavity." Have you figured out what this post will be about?

I'm sure there is an intelligent discussion somewhere about how hip-hop has always(?) held status with "othered" cultural minorities, but this is not the blog for intelligent discussion. Have you read any of my other blog posts? I rest my case down on the table and set the air-conditioner to "cold." The case, it is cold. Let it go, #frozen.

To be honest (tbh) I have no claim to be any expert on hip-hop, because just like any other white chump* the only hip-hop I listen to regularly is Drake, Nicki Minaj, Kanye West, and Missy Elliott. Sometimes I will play a Tyler the Creator album when I'm really angry/sad/in my regular state of being, because Kill People Burn Shit Fuck School. But, when I have enough wine inside of my nervous system, I CAN and WILL claim to be an expert on queerness. So, I'm 25% qualified to tell you, dear reader, about three really great queer hip-hop songs.

I will preface this by saying that Le1f, the arguable champion of queer hip-hop, is absent. Look, I get it, "Wut" is a catchy song and the video has ~sxc~ guys dancing in Pikachu masks, which is totally my bag, BUT I am just not A Fan. I saw him live once and it didn't even covert me. He has great hair though. I just don't like his mumbles. SORRY 'BOUT IT.

#1 of My Recommended QHH Trax:
WAVVY BY MYKKI BLANCO! Great job Mykki for making the cut I'm so I'm so I'm so proud of u.

I love Mykki, and this song has both copious drug references AND that weird spooky beat thing which seems to be trendy right now. 8 Spooky-Lukeys out of 10.
Also see: "Fuckin' The DJ," "Haze.Boogie.Life.," "Angggry Byrdz

#2. I Run This Club by Cakes Da Killa.
Cakes! What would your mum say if she knew you made my blog! :')

I am a sucker for something I can dance to, PLUS bonus points because almost blatant M.I.A. ripping. A lot of the comments on this video are like, "omg he's got dope rhymez even tho he is a straight-up homo." Don't these people know Who Run The World? Gays. Also, women. ~patriarchal life get out of the way~
Also 8 Cakes out of 10.

#3. House of Ladosha's "B/M/F."
It stands for black model famous! HoL where are u guys???

House of Ladosha were rockin' the femme beard look WAY before Conchita Wurst. I love this song. Where are they now? Idk. Bring Back House of Ladosha. I bought a t-shirt from them once and they included a thank-you note. Sometimes I stare out the window and I think I see House of Ladosha in the distance. But it's just the floaties in my eye. 
B/M/F gets 5 Blobs out of 10 (2 blobs docked for confusing medical eye phenomena)

I hope you, Dear Reader, enjoy these songs, and also maintain an awareness that House of Ladosha are literally M.I.A. and not Maya Arulpragasam. As you can hear, Queer Hip-Hop can kick ass, and fuck Macklemore and Ryan Lewis because these fools don't need some white sap to speak for them.


*with taste

Wednesday, February 18, 2015

"Like The Legend of The Phoenix" - Pharrelliams Punk, 1986

It's time, you guys. Time for me to Release the Beast and write some bullshit about music I like again. Will Amy make a comeback too? IDK. I'm not her writing impulse and I can't and won't speak for it.

So, anyway. What brought me back to this here magic online space, this Cosmic Foxhole? Björk's Vulnicura aka vulni-CRYING slayed me, for Personal Reasons. The Panda Bear album was also totally grouse, and in 2013 I went nuts for that Andy Stott guy. But, none of them made me feel like I need to revisit the unfortunately-titled "blogspot" spot for blogs. I'm not going to lie, it was g.d. (god damn) Drake "Aubrey Drake" Drake that brought me back. I mean sure. Look dis.
hey gurl
Drake, Dra.k.a. Everyone's Favourite Rapper With Feelings, is pretty maligned I think. Since last posting on this blog (4 years ago!, "oh my god/oh my gosh" - Missy Elliot Quote) I have actually Gotten A Real Job working with The Youth. Did you know The Youth think Drake is lame? They're like "Oh, I'm not into that YOLO HASHTAG SWAG b.s." And I'm like "Excuse me, are we talking about the same doe-eyed sadman? The same guy who made an emotional slow-jam featuring Stevie Wonder???" But, they don't know who that is, or think I'm not being Serious and Sincere, and anyway they're not about to take music suggestions from some old* guy. Fair enough.

Anyway. Drake just opened his boisterous/tender gullet wide and out plopped some brooding "collection" of music which I promptly BuyTunes'd. It is called "If You're Reading This It's Too Late," which is pretty heavy and a total clue as to how happy and carefree the music is. I'm being a liar! For comic effect!! In reality, the album is a dense, slow-burning, Leather-scented candle of pain. On "Energy," the second track on the album, he raps about how a girl wants the password for his wi-fi so she can show him people she "isn't really" friends with on her Facebook timeline. A stunning and insightful comment about popular film "The Social Network," and, I'd like to think, Society. Apparently he has also made some short film or something but I am too busy and important to watch it. The album is great though. My favourite song is possibly "Madonna" because of the way Drake "Drake" Drake mumbles unintelligibly before shouting that I could be big as Madonna, a popular songstress/religious icon. 9 Lukes out of 10.

Next time on The Cosmic Foxhole: I have no idea.

*Dear Youth: I don't like it when you say "Oh I thought you were in your thirties!" when I tell you how old I am.